Epstein Answers

Your Questions Concerning Online Romance!  The Dear Abby Of Online Romance!

My Sixth Sense

Its funny you should say that your man is JC, so is mine...cool! I'm from Canada and he is all the way over on the Pacific Coast (Oregon). I met him in March of 2000 online and we have had a few ups and downs throughout our relationship but I love him, more than he realizes. We are 4000 miles apart yet there are people that meet when they are 6-7 thousand miles away from each other. I feel there is something that he is hiding from me, and that's why I feel, is the reason for him not wanting to meet me. He has pics of me and as I do of him but what could be his reason for holding back. We claim to love each other,then why is this happening. Please Epstein...I need you worldly advice.

Cuddles from Canada

The miles always melt away when you are in love.  4000 miles isn't far by airplane!   The thing that bothers me, and obviously is bothering you, is this "sixth sense" that you have about him. 

In all situations, I would definitely recommend going with you gut feeling.  If there is something that just doesn't feel right, try to find out just exactly what it is.  Discuss this with your cyberfriend, and tell him your concerns.  Remember to always be honest with him, and hope for the best in that he'll be honest with you. 

I would try searches on the internet and see if you can find out more about him.  Just verify his home phone by using his name, etc.   There is a BIG problem if he does give you a "reality name".

I would NOT suggest meeting this guy until all queasy feelings are gone!!!

Good luck and feel free to write back anytime!

I met this guy online 6 months ago, and we have been chatting almost everyday since then.  We want to get together "in reality", but don't know if we have known each other long enough.  How long should we wait?  How long did you wait?  How did it turn out? And, was it all you ever expected?

Cynthia in Chicago

This all can vary according to each and every relationship.  I met my JC online on April 4th, 1996, we met in reality on Memorial Weekend (end of May). So, it was almost 2 months for us.  I moved in with him in August of 1996, and we were married on January 18th, 1997.  Now we're just living happily ever after! :)

By the time we met online, we had been chatting everyday for 2 months, and felt like we knew each other very well.  We were very comfortable with each other, and believed in each other.  Take the precautions discussed in my other section of this website entitled, "Meeting Online Then In Reality", and go for it.

Good Luck!

I'm 21 and she is 18.  We have been chatting for about a month now, and almost immediately moved to the phone and it's been an everynight thing since for several hours. We have a great time everynight without it ever being awkward.  The problem is that we both want to meet soon. Eventhough, I'm comfortable with meeting her and accepting what she looks like, I'm scared to death of what she will think of me.   I'm not "gorgeous" by any means, but then again, I'm not a dog either.   I want to make my first impression a good one because I don't want her to slip away. I need help!

Thanks,
Dennis from New York

I was shaking so bad the first time I met my now husband online, Benadryl didn't even calm me down. Nervousness and anxiety is a natural part of the anticipation. Just be natural and have fun with it. Don't worry about what each other look like.  The magical thing about the internet, is that by the time you meet "in reality", chances are, you have already fallen in love with the heart.   Just go and have fun, most people are just people and not those crazy monsters that you read about all the time. Good luck and God bless.

I met this guy in a chat room over a year ago.   Since our meeting online, we have also met each other in reality.  We love each other so much, but others keep on telling us that we are going insane.    The don't understand the feelings of passion I have for this guy when I hear his voice and see him.  I just wanna know that I'm not going crazy. Someone please tell me if I am or not, because I feel that I truly love him with all my heart.

Robin from Texas

You can fall in love online and it work!!! My husband and I met online April 4th, 1996, meet in reality on Memorial Day weekend, moved in together in August of 1996. Married January 18, 1997. Now living happily ever after!  That is not to say that people didn't think that we were crazy.  I moved 1000 miles to be with a man I met on the internet, whom just happened to be 24 years older than me.  Take your time, and learn about each other.  Concentrate on your relationship, and not what others think of you.

I live in the New York and I've met this gal from San Diego.  I didn't think it was possible to fall in love online, but my mind has never been so full of one person like this before.  She is everything I've ever wanted in a mate, but still...  There is part of me that has doubts about how she feels.  I don't know if her feelings are 100% true.  How do you know if that person is true blue through and through?

Joe from New York

How will you know? Unfortunately, you will never know online if they are really telling the truth, that is where this small thing called, TRUST, comes into play.

When my husband and I got together online, the first thing we did was make a pact between us never to lie to each other online or in reality. From then on, I never really worried about him lying to me. 

I think that I'm falling in love with this guy I met on a chat program.  He's really sweet to talk to and says that he considers me to be his girlfriend.  He wants to take our relationship one step further and meet me in reality...  but we live across the country from each other.  I'm in New Hampshire, he is in California.  Should I take him serious, or he is just playing a game with me?

Margaret In New Hampshire

Get to know the person online, talk to them on the phone, and then meet them somewhere in between. Make sure you have a "escape route" when you meet in reality.  Stay in a motel, but meet them in the lobby or the restaurant.  Don't let him know the exact room number you are in, so that you can use that for an "escape" if needed.  If you tell him your exact room number, he can find you.  For a safer plan...  meet him in the lobby or at a restaurant other than the one at the hotel you are staying at.

I have found that "most" people who are looking for love online, are not playing games.  They are seriously looking for love...  and those who are looking for sex, aren't usually shy about it...  they'll tell you online that they only would like sex out of the relationship.  I truly believe that people don't lie online, when they are in a serious relationship, any more than they do in reality.

I met this guy online, and everything is wonderful...  We chat for hours and feel like we know each other's heart by the inch.  He is so wonderful to me, I just can't imagine just a nice guy out there.  The only small problem...  I'm 20 and he is 40.  That is a 20 year age difference.  At this time, the age difference isn't a big deal... but what about our future?

Sandy in Sioux City

Dear Sandy,

20 years ain't nothing!  There are 24 years between my husband and I.  We fell in love with each other's hearts, and age had no factor in our falling in love.  I realize that he will probably die before me, but the years we have together are damn well worth it...  never have I been so happier in life!!!

Don't concentrate on the age difference...  concentrate on having fun in life, and living life to the fullest!

DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS YOU'D LIKE TO ASK EPSTEIN???

JUST CLICK ON THE BUTTON BELOW AND SEND HER AN EMAIL